Sunday nights are the saddest night of the week. Not only do I have to mourn that weekend that is over, I also have to start preparing for the week to come. It’s not that I don’t like my job, I just don’t own my time during the week. It belongs to adulting and responsibilities. Weekends are for fun and family. Sunday nights are the gatekeepers of the week.
The prompt for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hope”
Hope is a tricky thing. I don’t think I can exactly explain what the concept of “hope” is. Is it waking up on Christmas morning? That feeling you get that something awesome is just around the corner? Or is it the desperate understanding that things just have to get better, because you will not survive if they get worse.
I have no idea. I don’t know when last I felt hope. I use the word a lot “I hope this email finds you well”, “I hope you feel better”. “I hope to never feel this way again”. But I still don’t know what that means. Then again, the absence of hope also sucks. Being hopeless is just as bad, that cold, numb nothingness that weighs you down from the inside out.
I might not have an exact definition of hope but I’m not going to stop looking for it, the absence of it is simply to horrifying to imagine
My brain had been busy the whole day today, but I haven’t been able to form any coherent thoughts. I don’t know why. My train of thoughts derailed early this morning already when I sat staring into the distance instead of getting ready for work.
The good thing about daydreaming the day away is that my day went really fast, the downside is that my brain feel is like it’s stuffed with marshmallows right now. I wasn’t thinking of anything specific, I actually can’t remember a single detail. It was a good day.
Some mornings are made for tea, quiet contemplation while the colour and flavour seeps into the water. Other mornings are for coffee, throwing instant caffeine into a large mug and aggressively drowning the granules, not even allowing time for stirring before scalding your mouth with the devil’s brew.
I’ve had a lot of coffee this week.