Pausing   

This morning I was reminded why quiet is so important. As I type this , I’m sitting outside in the Drakensberg and listening to the quiet while I drink my tea. With only the sounds of the birds and the occasional noisy child as a reminder that civilization isn’t that far away.  As a mom I often forget to put myself into a “time out” and just breathe. Not constantly worry about work, what  my kids are doing, that I’m somehow failing in my quest to balance my work, home, and family.  Lately I’ve dropped a lot of balls in my juggling act.  I have been working super long hours at work and completely neglecting my home and family.  It’s hard when you leave the house before the kids are properly awake and arrive home just in time for bedtime. 

One thing that I have realized the past year is that I cannot be a good mom if I neglect myself.  So this morning I have left the kids in the very capable hands of the Husbeast and am just taking a moment. I went for a run this morning, did my pole dance stretches, and am now sitting on the veranda and pausing my hectic life.  As soon as the kids get back I will resume my usual duties, hopefully feeling more refreshed and less like a mom-zombie 

Mean Girls

We all know at least one Mean Girl.  That person, not necessarily a girl/woman who has the art of delivering a nasty comment in the sweetest manner. You don’t even realize how badly you have been insulted until you are lying in bed at night and replay the conversation in your head.  That person who can make you feel bad about yourself by just raising an eyebrow.  Mean Girls are everywhere.  Every playground, classroom, office, and family function has at least one parading in the lime light.  That is the worst part about Mean Girls.  They are popular, they attract people into their orbit.  Every Mean Girl has her Minions.  The followers, the crowd that feeds her need to be Queen Bee, that validate her very existence.

The real problem with Mean Girls are that you cannot always recognize one at first glance.  Sometimes they genuinely appear to be nice people.  It’s only after you start to wonder why you feel bad about yourself in their presence that you realize that you are friends with a Mean Girl.  It’s the subtle undermining of your self confidence, you are simply not good enough unless you do exactly as they say. It’s the gradual loss of your individuality as they mold you into the perfect clone, just like them but not good enough to be them.  

But there is hope.  It is possible to break the cycle of self doubt and negativity and be your own person.  It takes a lot of hard work (and more than a few tears) to become a “rebel”. Someone who doesn’t care what other people thinks of her. Because she knows who she is.  She doesn’t need their validation to prove her self worth. 

So let’s all put our big girl panties on and stop being mean to one another.  There is enough hate in the world already, let’s not add to it.