So today I noticed that some shops already have their Christmas merchandise out. Seriously? It’s not even November yet! Not that I’m complaining, I love Christmas. All of Christmas, the family get togethers, carols, decorations, selecting gifts for family members…. I celebrate right up to the 25th of December, then I’m over it. I obsess over packing my decorations away and turn into a real Scrooge. I don’t want to hear a carol or see a decoration. It’s done till next year November.
It’s my turn to host Christmas this year, so (of course) we are having a Star Wars Christmas. I’ve been googling and pinning ideas all year so the kids have gotten pretty excited to dress up. KJ really loves dressing up so she’s been nagging me to get her costume ready. I told her that there is one character that reminds me of her. So of course she’s super excited to be dressing up as Jar Jar Binks for Christmas lunch.
We’re watching episode 1 tomorrow. I don’t know how excited she’s going to be after we finish all the episodes….
The past year has taught me that sometimes it’s better to walk away. Just throwing my hands up in the air and taking a time out is better for my mental health.
My main goal for 2017 was to be more mindful. To think about what I’m doing, saying, eating, and thinking before I commit to it. No more foot in mouth syndrome for me!! Yeah…… that didn’t go so well. I tried my hardest to remember that taking care of me should be a priority in my life. Instead I overcommitted, under delivered, and generally made myself feel like a terrible person. As a mom, it’s so easy to constantly forget to take care of myself. I still do enough to survive, but it’s not healthy. Instead of experiencing major spiritual growth and living a perfectly healthy life with my perfect Husbeast and kids, I’m running around like a headless chicken trying to survive.
So I’m walking away from all the unnecessary drama in my life. No more stressing about things I can’t control. No obsessing about calories, dirty dishes, and muddy paw prints on the kitchen floor. Just being in the moment with the Husbeast and the girlies.
Some days are made for conquering the world. The day dawns bright and shiny and new and is made for getting up and winning at life. Today was not that day. Actually, this hasn’t been that week.
Ever had one of “those days”, when no matter how hard you try, it feels like you are slowly drowning? Yeah, I’m barely treading water here. There isn’t something specific that has caused this feeling, it’s the impression that I’m getting close to a lot of deadlines that has created my panic. And they aren’t specific/actual deadlines, it’s the inevitable rushing towards the end of the year, the social obligations, school functions, family gatherings, and the impression that I should have achieved something by now. I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to have achieved but it feels like I should have done something more with this year. Like I have been given the time and just wasted it.
So instead of freaking out about what I have/haven’t done, I have gone to bed. I changed into my pj’s and snuggled under the duvet with a book and checked out for a while. No thoughts, no panic, no frantic rushing around.
Tomorrow I’ll put my big girl panties on and seize the day.
There are very few “bad words” in our house, I’m sorry to say that most of those words pollute my own vocabulary. But we do have 2 “bad sentences” that should never be uttered. The first is “I don’t care”. Nothing irritates me more that getting “I don’t care” as an answer, especially when I know that you do care about what we are having for supper. It doesn’t matter what the question is, “I don’t care” is not an appropriate answer. And if you are very brave and use the forbidden sentence, you better not care about the results.
The second forbidden phrase is “I’m sorry Mommy”. My kids love using “I’m sorry Mommy” in a sing-song voice whenever they have been naughty. The reason I’ve forbidden that particular phrase is that my kids usually aren’t sorry at all. they repeat the phrase so often that it has lost all meaning. they are so used to my temper that they completely ignore me when i am upset with them. I get a “sorry mom” and they continue on their merry way. It is superbly frustrating that they listen to other people but not to me. *sigh* it’s even more frustrating that this is often used as proof that I’m a “bad mother” and that i have no control over my children. there are set rules and boundaries in our house, the kids know and respect that, there are also a lot of things that are not important in the grand scheme of things (like tidy bedrooms). It’s usually the not-important-things that produce an “I’m sorry Mommy”, so my kids know that they will most likely just get moaned at and not receive any other form of punishments.
As much as it annoys me, I realise that I will be adding more “forbidden phrases” to the list. After all, pushing boundaries and annoying your parents are a normal part of growing up.
I dreaded the terrible two’s and I couldn’t wait for them to finish. Little did I know that I would soon have a three-nager in the house. LK rules our house with an iron fist. When she doesn’t get her way she will calmly walk away and then start crying and slamming doors. She also regularly tells KJ that she wishes that we were not born, cause then she will be in charge. Her mood swings and tantrums are the stuff of nightmares. But when she feels scared, lonely, or just wants cuddles she is the sweetest, cutest thing on two legs.
I know that she is simply frustrated because she doesn’t know how to express how she feels. Her fears and frustrations are too big for her little body to cope with. So she acts out. And we have loads of cuddles and hugs afterwards because sometimes words are not enough to ease her frustrations.
Fortunately, KJ has a big enough heart to understand that her little sister loves her very much, no matter how badly she may behave. The problem is that KJ has the vocabulary to annoy her little sister and then laughs at her attempts to retaliate. The joys of having two girls!
If having a three-nager is so difficult, how on earth are we going to cope with a real teenager?!?
I don’t do selfies. In this day and age not taking selfies seems a little odd. How will people know what I’ve done if there isn’t a photo of my duck face to validate the moment? If no selfie is taken, did it even happen?
My personality doesn’t translate well on film (screen?). I tend to look slightly stiff and awkward. Like I don’t want to be there at all. It’s weird how my face seems normal until someone points a cellphone in my direction, immediately I either channel a serial killer or Mr Bean. It’s all awkwardness or resting bitch-face. No in between. I’m not even going to comment about the weird body movements, legs and arms pointing in odd directions like a doll that has been posed by a toddler.
My aversion to being caught on film is usually manageable. Except when it comes to pole dancing. One of the easiest ways to track your progress is to have a pole buddy snap a quick pic of you performing the move. I can’t even participate in Pole Challenges because I can’t take the bloody pictures! Or if I relent and have a photo taken, I will simply not post it to the official challenge group.
I’ve found that the ideal way around my little selfie issue is to take selfies with my kids. They tend to push me out of the shot so you might only catch a glimpse of me in the background. Now I have to find a way to get my kids into my pole progress pics and I will be 100’s!