It’s quiet here. Almost too quiet. It’s quiet enough that you can hear your own heart beat. It’s so quiet that my thoughts sound loud. I’m so used to noise: kids, cats, dogs, cars, birds, trains, people… it feels lonely here. I was fully expecting to get homesick but I’ve been so busy during the day that I haven’t had a chance to miss home. Being able to video call the kids before they go to bed has made the separation a lot easier.
The coursework is really interesting and I’ve met such awesome people here. I’ve only been coming back to the hotel close to 11pm each night, having long lazy dinners and going for walks through the town.
But then it’s time to go to bed. And the hotel gets quiet. And the room is dark. And the bed is so big and empty. That’s when the loneliness creeps in. I remember that I was excited to get away from my “boring life”. And I count the nights until I get to go home.
I’ve been writing about my week away from home over on Run Fat Girl, Run!
I’m half a world away from home tonight, I’m traveling for work at the moment so I’m currently in Zug, Switzerland. Thank goodness for technology, thanks to a data sim and some Wi-Fi I can still say goodnight to my girls. It’s weird how different everything is here, it’s hard to describe but even the air doesn’t feel like “home”.
I’ve been writing about my adventures (its my first time traveling internationally!) over on my other blog Run Fat Girl, Run!. I usually post about my weight loss fails and victories, so pop over and have a look:)
So we painted. And it looked good. Our plan was to decorate the two rooms and then move on to our bedrooms, unfortunately it doesn’t look like that is going to happen any time soon. We needed to move bookcases from the bedrooms to the lounge (we have a HUGE book and comic book collection, even with all the extra bookcases, we are still short on space). After we moved the bookcases, we realised that both of them had water damage, and that the carpet under the cases was moldy. Its freaken damp. We’ve abandoned our youngest daughter’s bedroom as it was super damp and moldy, much to her sisters delight they now have to share a bedroom. The master bedroom wasn’t spared either, we’ve had to move our bed to the middle of the room, away from the walls as the walls were damp as well.
We’ve hung the curtains in the lounge and dining room and used the artwork that we already owned to try to cheer the place up a bit, unfortunately untill we sort out the damp issue, we arent doing anything further.
The solution to our problem is actually quite simple, we have to remove some trees in our yard. We have been threatening for years to have them trimmed back or removed completely but have never gotten around to it. Once we’ve removed the trees, we will have to wait a while for the house to dry out before we start removing the carpets in the bedrooms (which we werent planning on doing) and replacing all of the flooring. So all of our timelines and budgets have been completely thrown for a loop. At least I get to have a break from painting while I research tree removal companies.
DIY is hard. All those Pinterest hacks and blogs make it look so easy. The Husbeast and myself spent about 30 minutes discussing paint colours before we hit the hardware store. Our first mistake was taking the kids with us. As much as I love my kids, choosing paint is so hard when I have to “mom”.
Our second mistake was not knowing exactly how much paint we needed. Never trust a sales associate’s advice when it comes to paint quantities. We have 60 litres of paint, 40 of the lounge dining room colour and 20 of the passage colour. We can paint our whole house, inside and out and still have paint left over!!
The Husbeast and myself see colour differently, the slightly grey shade I envisioned became a pinky cream. The Husbeast could not understand why I was so upset, the colour matched the sample card exactly! (spoiler alert: it did not). So now we have buckets full of paint in a colour that I’m not 100% happy with. Other paint related disasters include dropping paint on the floor, tripping over a paint tray and spilling paint everywhere, and my personal favourite, sitting down in a paint tray.
Painting is freaken hard, I have no idea who those home decorating shows make it look so easy. There were days when I wanted to walk out and never return. Apart from the mess, my arms felt like I had gymming like crazy! After lots of swearing (me), and crying (also me), we’ve finally finished the painting portion of phase 1. And now I need a holiday!
We have been living in our house for almost 5 years now. We knew that the house needed a lot of work when we bought it, the house was damp and dark, the bathrooms were a mess, floors needed to be redone, and the kitchen was dated. We had all these amazing plans and tons of inspirational pins on Pinterest. This was going to be our dream house, it just needed some TLC.
It’s been 5 years. We havent done a single thing. So the Husbeast and myself have dedicated the next 3 years to the house. We are going to DIY the shit out of this place. Of course we just dived right in with only a vague idea of what we are doing, but at least we started.
We’ve decided to divide the house up into more manageable projects and only concentrating on those specific areas at a time. I refuse to live in chaos just because we have taken on too many projects at once.
Phase 1: Lounge, dining room
Phase 2: Bedrooms
Phase 3: Bathrooms
Phase 4: Kitchen
Even as I’m typing this I can feel the frustration and irritation that these projects will bring. The Husbeast and myself both have very different tastes in interior design and we also tend to get shouty when things don’t go our way. I don’t need a crystal ball to know that this is going to be a true test of our relationship.
Wish me luck, I’m going to need it!
I havent liked social media for a while now. It all seems so fake and contrived, full of posts about “fun people”doing “fun things”. And do not even get me started about all the clickbait articles being mindlessly shared. Cures for cancer, get-rich-quick-schemes, scammy weight loss products, political propaganda…the list just goes on and on.
So about a month ago I was browsing Facebook and I came across a photo of myself in a friend’s feed. It was a horrible photo, I looked like a potato. The friend didn’t tag me in it either, so I if I hadn’t been mindlessly scrolling I most probably wouldn’t even have seen it. Of course, the Husbeast didn’t understand why I was upset, he looked amazing in the photo! What upset me was that I hadn’t been asked if I wanted my picture taken, I was told to “smile”and that was it. I don’t like being in photo’s, they make me uncomfortable. I really dont like it when people pressure me into posing for pictures. This was a double-whammy.
So I deactivated my account. And I feel amazing. I don’t have to read people’s racist, sexist, and homophobic rants. Im no longer exposed to super negative clickbait “articles” The one downside is that I’ve lost contact with some friends. I never noticed how much of our interaction had been over Facebook, once I pulled the plug on Facebook I killed our friendships as well.
It is super irritating to have to justify to people why I’m not on Facebook anymore. It’s amazing how we rely on an app to connect with our loved ones. And how much of what we know about the world we learn from our newsfeed’s. So now I have to connect the old fashioned way, actually reach out to people and make conversation. And that’s a good thing, I think
I hate New Year’s. The well wishes for a prosperous New Year, the celebrating, and the resolutions. All of it. It depresses the crap out of me. The year starts out so bright and shiny, and then I fall back into old habits and negative thought patterns on Jan 2. Nothing ever changes. Except for Jan 2018.
This year is different. I’m staring a new job on 2 Feb. I’ve left my comfort zone. I’ve been with the same company since 2003, I started out as a student and just never left. So it is a huge step for me. I have had a few sleepless nights, wondering if leaving is a mistake. I don’t like change. I really don’t like being in situations where I can’t control my environment. I prefer knowing what is going to happen so that I can practise my reactions before the time (I really don’t like surprises!).
So my one and only resolution this year is to embrace change. Even if I don’t like it.